11 year old on vacation with her father?

heres a little background.. we had our daughter whe we were 18 years old. he left us when she was 8 months old. we live in massachusetts and he moved to oregon. I raised her alone until she was two at which time i met my husband who has been raising her with me ever since. he pays for her roof over her head, health insurance, food, ect.. her father came back in her live when she was about 4 and a half . it was not consistent and only at his convenience. He got married when she was five and she was in his wedding. they started taking her on sundays but it was very inconsistent. only at his convenience and if he was busy or something came up he would not see her. she spent a lot of her years from 6-9 staring out the window waiting for him to get her and hed never show up which saddened her. I started not telling her when sunday was and got her involved with other things that way she wouldnt even notice if he blew her off. any how hes never really been involved in her lifeas an adult or parent. her school shes been at since kindergarten knows my husband as her father, as does our dentist, her pediatrician and basically everyone.. people dont even know her biological father exists. He has been getting a little bit better in the past year . He did pay for some uniform school clothes, one dance costume(she has 4 ), they bought her an entire winter wardrobe (it was her xmas gift) and have paid for three months worth of dance lessons. He also is court ordered to pay 78.00 a week for child support which comes out of his pay check when he has a job ( he still owes 1600.00 from back support). so the thing is this past february my daughter came home from his house saying he was taking her to disney world in florida over april vacation. i talked to him and told him it wasnt happening . then they siad they planned the trip for july instead and again i said no. so then they said they changed their vacation plans so that she could come and were only going to newjersey. I told them i do not feel comfortable with her going even 5 hours away. he is not reliable he has brought her home at 10pm pn sunday school night thinking thats fine.. has blown her off a million times, put her in the front seat of the car with him , ect. also i feel that he is only a buddy and i would not allow her to go that far at this age with a buddy. the reason i feel this way is because he says he wants to be in her life but gets mad if he cant see her on a day that she has dance. i have told him he could see her he just has to take her to dance. i feel tht this is her life and if he wants to be a part of HER life than that means going to her school functions, taking her to dance lessons ect.. not just when you want to see her i have asked him to show me he is responsible maybe take her a few nights only an hour a way and that eventually i will be comfortable with him taking her further and for longer periods of time. I just dont trust him as an adult responsible person. i am afraid he wont make responsible decisions while she is with him . the problem is that my daughter said he was crying in front of her saying it just wasnt fair that he cant take her on vacation. which i feel was again immature to do in front of a child especially since he knows he can just closer at first i feel he was manipulating her. I know that i have to eventually let her go but i am not ready i think this is just too far. my husband thinks we should let her go but most of all she really wants to go with him and i want her to be happy.. ive tried convincing him to take a trip somewhere a bit closer if he really wants her to go with him but thats where they want to go .. any advice